Runaway Fiend..

Just when you thought you could run from it, its right there in your face.. You hated it when you had it an now that you're without it you long for it. Kind of like a addict in rehab, you go through the withdrawal of not being able to inject it into your veins, you know its best that you let it go and move forward. So much for things being easier said than done. Damn I hate this feeling!! Why is it when you think that you're over it, that you're looking it right square in the eye, but this time around you can't quite make eye contact, because you're ashamed to be here to begin with. That day you walked away from it, you vowed to never turn back. The worse thing in this world is to be in denial...About Love

Well...Well!!

Hello to all,

I've been tied up in a lot of things lately and I really haven't had time to blog. However, I will offer a little insight into what's been on my mind and things I have coming up in the near future. I'm working on continuing my back-piece and getting an extension to my foot tattoo, gotta get the ball rolling on that again! Just moved a couple weeks ago and I'm STILL unpacking, well not really, I still have boxes that I've been thinking about unpacking. Finally I'll be going on my first "real" vacation in a couple weeks...guess where?? PUERTO RICO!! I will be sure to throw a few pics up here when I return. My job sucks as usual and has me really contemplating going back to the Navy...Hoorah! I miss my uniform anyway. Just a few snippets of what's been going on with little ol' me. Well I sneezed the whole time while typing this due to all the dust and cobbwebs that were lurking here in my blog... Hopefully you will hear back from me soon :]

Smiles and Hugz...EB

On My Mind...

Here it is 2:30am and one person keeps coming to mind...My father or "daddy" as I called him. He has been gone for 16 years now and it still feels just like yesterday when I last saw him, that day still holds a place in my memory...Him getting out the car, coming over to the passenger side where i was sitting to open my door, grabbing me by my hand helping me get out of the car, then he said "alright Wormy I'll see you next weekend and we'll go get your mama something for her birthday" and my brother was dragging his feet, we sure hated having to leave. But this particular day I'll never forget, this was the last time that he would open a door for me, the last time I would hold his hand, the last "I Love You", the last memory of my daddy.. All i have are vague memories of him, his cool demeanor which I inherited, his smile, the smell of his Polo cologne (the one in the green bottle with the gold Polo logo). My memory takes me back to sitting across his leg with the side of my head laying against his collarbone, so if I looked up I was able to look up his nose...funny but that's what I remember. We always talked and he always talked to me like I was a young lady rather than a child, he told me stories of his life and even some of the mistakes he had made. And how he didn't want me to grow up and make some of the same ones. It always brought sunshine to my day just to see him walk into the room, everytime I saw my "daddy" it felt like Christmas, his smile always made me feel better, his hugs always made me feel special, his kisses made me feel loved, and when my little hands would hold his I felt safe. I saw myself in him... There have been so many times where I just want to hear his voice, so I try to imagine but my imagination fails me, sometimes I want to see his face, but when I close my eyes to find him in my memory, I cant find him.. Im not going in any particular direction with all of this, I just needed to express the way I feel. I remember when he and I would get in the car and drive, we would sing to each other, he had a beautiful voice, he was the only person I wasn't shy to sing around. He is the reason why I love music so much. I really miss my father, I need his guidance, his smile, and his encouragement. Most importantly I need him to sing to me...

I love this picture of us, it was so cute how we were both making the same facial expression looking into the camera... I just wanted to share where my mind was at the moment...